Closeness, connection and intimacy has very little to do with words or understanding someone and has a lot to do with the energetic, emotional, mirroring and reciprocating responses that communicate synchrony, acceptance and validation. Flat and/or stone-cold facial expressions, verbal threats and violent reactions can easily become the seeds for trauma.
Trauma literally changes the brains structure and function and therefore changes the perception and experience of reality.
Some core components of trauma include:
A person’s feeling that the can’t do something or go somewhere. They essentially feel stuck. They don’t want to connect with people or get close to people and would rather stay in.
Things that should or normally would be scary or dangerous become compelling.
Things that should or normally would be considered healthy lose their attraction.
Things that should or normally would be considered painful become pleasurable and things that would/should be pleasurable become painful.
Because trauma is an experience, effective trauma treatment requires less talking about the traumatic experiences or memories and encourages more experiential methods to help the body and brain release what seems or feels to be stuck.
The body records and stores everything we experience. Pain from trauma can and often does manifest itself in physical ways including but not limited to headaches, migraines, stomach aches, sore throats, muscle tension, joint pain, etc. Our muscles have web-like tissues in them call facia that has been shown to become very tight and rigid from trauma and it is these tissues that massage therapists work on to help people release the stored or stuck energy associated with trauma.